just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
