i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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