apparently the secret to your success is patron
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
