The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
