she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
