none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
