I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
