haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
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