woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
this boner is exhausting
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
