Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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