He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
