Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
