this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Pants are for mortals
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
