Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
