left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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