We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
