it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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