jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
