I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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