ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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