Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
