Dual....:-)
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
