booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
