i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
