this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
