So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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