Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
