She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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