3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
