My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
it glows. i had to have it.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
