Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
There's always time for handjobs
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize