I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
