grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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