Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
