Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
