Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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