I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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