i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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