I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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