It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
