If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
