Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
