and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
