He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
