Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
