This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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