alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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