10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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