chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
