New invention idea: vibrating tampons
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
