You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
