Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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