Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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