hotel room ftw
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
