is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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