she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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