I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
