so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
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I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
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You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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