I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
