I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I will pee on everything he values.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
