dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize