So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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