It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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