So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Randomize
